Released on Blu-ray for the first time, Tenebrae is a 1982
Italian horror film written and directed by Dario Argento. It’s arguably the
last decent thing he did. The film stars Anthony Franciosa, John Saxon and Daria
Nicolodi, and is a step back from the supernatural terrors Argento had been
dabbling in, returning to his Giallo roots which he had helped popularize
during the 70s.
You probably know the story. An American writer promoting
his latest murder-mystery novel in Rome is embroiled in the search for a serial
killer who has apparently been inspired to kill by that very book. You probably
know what’s going to happen too. Argento rarely steps away from his trademark
style. We have a lot of close-ups. We have an American lead that’s in a
creative profession. We have a hint of narration. We have the infamous Steadicam.
Last but not least, we have the cheesy electronic synth score. Ouch.
One of the reasons why I’m not a massive fan of Argento is
because of his soundtracks. They’re annoying. He frequently collaborates with
Goblin, an Italian progressive rock band known for their soundtrack work. The
music isn’t awful. I grew up in the eighties, after all. But horror movies need
to be scary. And when scantily clad females are being stalked and slashed to
the ugly brother of Genesis it’s hardly suspenseful. One scene works. Unsurprisingly, there’s no
music. Nothing. Zilch. Nought. Just silence.
Argento gets most other things right. There’s a lot of
nudity. A lot of attractive women wearing next to nothing. And when they’re
wearing something, it’s usually a flimsy white shirt. Flimsy white shirts are
awesome. There’s a lot of blood too. Women as victims and a lot of hairy macho
bullshit. Just the way we like it. After all, sexism sells horror movies. Hold
on though, you’ll even care for one of the women. A young girl who gets in the
way. Jailbait. Not sure what the Doberman has to do with anything though, and I’m
not convinced throwing paper at the murderer is better than running.
We’ll also ignore the laughable scene when a woman cop
ignores the guy that just crashed his car into a tree because he was trying to
avoid her as she stood gormlessly in the middle of the road. And we should
probably forget about the surreal moments involving a woman with red shoes.
They don’t work. We won’t even question why Peter Neil, famous writer, cycles
to the airport while some poor schmuck follows him in a car with his luggage.
That’s power.
What we should embrace is a decent yarn with lots of blood
and nakedness. There’s also a sensational money shot involving an axe to the
arm. Ignore the slow paced Steadicam, enjoy the poor acting, and you will be
rewarded with a twist ending that satisfies long after the credits. In fact, it’s
only when you look back that you realise how rubbish and dated this movie
should be. But it isn’t. It’s really not. At the end of the day I was immersed
in a very rewarding horror from a director that’s sadly lost his touch.
Don’t dig too deep. Tenebrae is a gratifying work of horror
if you ignore the cheesy score, suspend disbelief, and cold-shoulder the
surrealism which offers little. Nudity, blood, and a neat twist should be
cradled and adored. The female cop should be cut to ribbons with an axe.
Oh, hang on… DW
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