Tuesday, 24 January 2012


"How many movie sagas (it is a saga) get to part five and still require immediate attention? Friday the 13th, Scary Movie, Police Academy, A Nightmare on Elm Street, even Rocky lost the fight in round five. We’ll ignore The Fast and the Furious for now, parts two through four were shit. And don’t get me started on Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back was part two - Attack of the Clones was part ’toon.

Final Destination reinvented a stagnant horror genre with its tongue planted firmly in cheek, and it did it so well, nobody seemed to mind when they repeated the formula three times over. Let’s just set the record straight though. Part one was great. Part two had the best opening of the series. Part three had the most imaginative death scenes and part four sucked. We wont go into that. Everything rests on part five - the final chapter. Unless it makes a shit load of money of course.

Death stalks a group of co-workers who avoid a grisly demise in a massive suspension bridge collapse after one of them, wait for it, experiences a terrifying premonition - shocking I know. Tony Todd returns in the fifth instalment of the Final Destination series alongside Nicholas D’Agosto (a future in rom-coms awaits), Miles Fisher (Tom Cruise with facial hair), P.J. Byrne (comic relief guy), and Jacqueline MacInnes Wood (so much hotter in glasses).

The first thing you’ll notice is just how unattractive the cast members are. No wait a minute, the first thing you’ll notice is just how much Miles Fisher looks and acts like Tom Cruise… without the Scientology rubbish. D’Agosto lacks the charm of leading man material, but he’s tall, and he does kind of grow on you as the film goes on. Why am I spending so much time on the cast members? Lets get to the important stuff.

Final Destination 5 comes with a blistering opening sequence that more than makes up for part four’s over reliance on 3D. It’s funnier too, with wittier dialogue and hilarious shock tactics littered throughout. The F.D. series works best when it prolongs the torment, and Steve Quale makes the most of every drawn out set piece. 

The gymnastic routine is a standout, but anyone considering laser eye surgery should also cast a cautionary glance. The ‘kill to survive’ theme is a nice touch but could’ve been used better, and the final twist is actually rather sweet but again, the filmmakers don’t quite exploit it to its full potential. However, criticising a Final Destination movie for being too easy is like sleighing a prostitute for being, well…

If only they hadn’t put a five in the title, I could’ve ignored the existence of part four altogether. Final destination 5 wont change the world - it barely shakes up the franchise - but  it more than makes up for the film that precedes it. If part four provided proof that the formula was fallible, part five goes someway to suggesting it was only a blip. I mean really, I could watch these movies all night." AW

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