Friday, 9 December 2011


"Another day, another moon landing conspiracy theory, this time staged by Michael Bay and not at all by NASA, insisting that the Apollo astronauts did land and walk on the moon, but only to ransack a Cybertronian spacecraft hidden there. To be honest, I quite liked the premise, but echoing those conspiracists' arguments, Bay has somehow manufactured, tampered with and destroyed not the evidence, but a childhood classic.

Megan Fox was busy. Instead she was replaced with one of the worst actresses (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) I have ever had the misfortune to watch. She almost single-handedly destroys the movie, which at least tries to do the same all by itself by being far too long and encouraging those annoying little critters, I forget their names, to do what Jar Jar did for Star Wars. And the bad guys are way cooler. 

A space bridge too far, then? Maybe not. It is based on a child's toy, after all, so I should really get back in my box. Besides, the cracking action sequences don't give you a serious headache this time, and it's easier to spot the good guys amongst the carnage, plus John Malkovich is genius casting, even if he doesn't hang around for very long. It was never going to be worse than the second instalment (actually thrilling in places), and if they do make yet another, you better pray LaBeouf's luck holds out so he can convince Fox to come back to her pleasingly renovated den."  DW

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