Sunday, 27 December 2009


“Choke on it, bitch.” - Drag Me To Hell

Before Christine is dragged to hell in Sam Raimi’s horrific and hilarious personal rediscovery she manages to give Sydney Prescott and Nancy Thompson a run for their money in the ‘cute but case-hardened protagonist I always fall in love with’ competition. The button that has caused Christine so much suffering is shoved in the mouth of dead old-hag Mrs. Ganush with such gusto you can’t help but think angry women, especially those caked in mud and soaked to the bone, are so much sexier than those that sit back and choke on flies all day.


“You know what we have to do, right?” - Dead Snow

Arguably more fun than Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell is Tommy Wirkola’s Norwegian-Nazi-blood-splattered-zombie-fest of a movie Dead Snow. Pushed to the limits, the few medical students that survive the initial gory onslaught decide enough is enough. Armed with chain-saws, pickaxes and a snowmobile they wreak revenge on the Nazi bastards with blustering precision. Altogether now... “Ein! Zwei! Die!”


“What happens if I don’t?” - Let The Right One In

Haunting and brutal, ‘Let the right one in’ by Tomas Alfredson is a stunning little vampire movie that makes Twilight look as immature and dull as we all know it actually is. Two scenes could have made it to this list; the creepy swimming pool finale and my favourite, when Oskar dares to question Eli’s mystical aversion by not inviting her into his home. I screamed and I squealed, Eli, now let me be you for a little while…


“What are we going to call him?” - Star Trek

Never thought I would ever see the day when I actually enjoyed a Star Trek movie. Not only did I enjoy it but for sheer spectacle this was probably the finest cinematic feast of the year. As good as the movie is though, the opening ten-minutes produce its greatest scene; an asteroid-sized lump-in-the-throat moment when James T Kirk enters the world and his father, George, is forced to go where no man really wants to. Heart-wrenching…


“Wrong way, wrong way…” - Trick R Treat

Everyday parents put their dirty secrets on this bus to be driven to a school miles out of town. But that day, the driver took a different route… and so starts a cracking moment from Trick R Treat, easily the greatest Halloween movie since Michael Myers graced us with his presence. The Halloween school-bus massacre is retold to a group of scare-starved children who foolishly decide to see whether or not the story is as real as they initially hope it is. Directed by Michael Dougherty, Trick R Treat also introduces a new, much-needed villain to our world as Sam (think creepy sack-child from The Orphanage but a whole lot more fun) stalks a miserable old git who doesn’t take Halloween seriously enough. Short but so very, very sweet…

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