HAPPY EASTER! EASTER BUNNY, KILL! KILL! REVIEW

With a tagline that reads “Don’t expect Easter eggs”, Chad Ferrin makes it pretty clear what to expect from his holiday horror. Chad cut his teeth on films like Unspeakable, The Ghouls and most recently, Someone’s Knocking at the Door. Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! is his fifth full-length feature, blessed with bloodthirsty killings and more crazies than a George A. Romero movie. There’s a good chance Elmer Fudd won’t be chasing down this wascally rabbit, but you can buy it on DVD courtesy of Cine du Monde.

A murderous grifter (Timothy Muskatell) cons his way into a mother’s heart, unaware he’ll have to make ‘nice’ with her treasured son, Nicholas (Ricardo Gray). Mindy (Charlotte Marie) has always had a penchant for ill-fitting boyfriends - not unlike the little black dress she wears at the start of the movie. A brutal opening introduces us to would-be psychopath Remington, a dangerous man in need of an all over wax, and his hatred for Nicholas is made abundantly clear from the get-go.

He does have a soft spot for Mindy though and plans to move into the family home as soon as possible, which is probably why he broaches the subject of Nicholas’ mental health so tactfully. “How retarded is he?” Not the best way to start a new relationship, I can tell you. As soon as she leaves the house for work he makes his true intentions clear, and the mild mannered Nicholas is subject to torrents of unnecessary abuse.

Easter Sunday is Nicholas’ favourite holiday, and when a kindly drifter offers him a rabbit in exchange for tin cans, Nicholas convinces himself that it’s the real Easter bunny. Remington is happy to go along with it, as long as he stays out of the way. He’s planning a party you see, complete with fun-loving prostitutes and a drug dealing child molester, who’s already taken a shine to Nicholas. Not entirely convinced by the evening’s activities, Nicholas locks himself away in his room with only the rabbit for company, the rabbit and the bunny mask-wearing psychopath already on the rampage.

Putting the bunny back in the box is out of the question, especially when it comes equipped with a range of weapons that would put Batman to shame. Hammers, drills, guns, flashlights and cleansing products - no household item is safe from barbaric bunnies with murder in mind. The rest of the characters don’t fair too well either, but we wont lose any sleep over that - Easter Bunny’s cast reads like a State Prison football team. Spanish burglars, titillating prostitutes and drug pushing paedophiles don’t exactly evoke sympathy, so there’s a good chance you’ll be rooting for Roger all the way.

If you’re only in it for the carnage (it’s called Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! for Christ’s sake) you’re in for an agonising wait. Ferrin’s fifth feature is slower out of the blocks than an all-conquering tortoise, and it’s not until the final act that the screen turns a sinister shade of red. The first act is surprisingly effective, performances are stronger than you might expect from a low budget horror movie, and the bunny’s bonnet is choc-full of twisted humour and welcome exchanges. The second act drags its heels like a hare in need of a hose-down - for some reason Ferrin feels the need to bolster his running time with fruitless diversions that add nothing to the movie.

It’s not until David Z. Stamp’s Ray Mann arrives on the scene that events take a turn for the clinically depraved. His drug dealing child molester is genuinely creepy, even if his ‘pocket full of goodies’ isn’t given the screen time it truly deserves. It’s Muskatell’s Remington that holds the film together though, and despite the despicable nature of his character, there’s something oddly affecting about his performance, coming on like a cross between Ron Jeremy and Joe Spinell’s Maniac.

Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! makes its mark in the final act, despite Remington’s insistence that “It’s Easter, not fucking Halloween!”. I tell you, it’s enough to put Dawn French off chocolate for life. Chad Ferrin knows how to deliver an entertaining set piece, and from here on in Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! comes alive with the sound of screaming. Ferrin nails it, quite literally in fact, and the last half hour is choc-full of milky goodness. For some inexplicable reason I didn’t see the ending coming, which is rare in this day and age, and all the more obvious when I choose to reflect. That said, the warped final reel smacks of family sitcom, not to mention the promise of a sequel or two.

Raw, uncompromising and darkly comic, Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! ends on a high note - buoyantly bouncing away with your will. It sure takes its time to get there, but clearly this bunny has learnt a thing or two - Chad Ferrin’s gut-punching gore fest stands out as a low budget horror movie worth its weight in gold-en foil.