Monday, 10 June 2013


Forget Star Trek Into Darkness for a moment, surely it’s time for Odeon Into Administration. Last night I was crammed into a packed Screen Three with twelve other desperate souls, clutching my 3D glasses and praying the film I was about to watch was worth the extortionate amount of money I had just thoughtlessly handed over. Firstly, I had to give the miserable sod behind the counter £9.40 because Sunday is peak-time viewing. Could have fooled me. Packing punters into one row of the cinema doesn’t kid anyone. It’s just uncomfortable.

But wait, we’re then charged an extra two pounds because we’re watching a 3D film. We have little choice. There is no 2D version showing that evening. We don’t have 3D glasses either. And no, we didn’t recycle them like Odeon would like us to. Screw that. Mine are probably gathering dust under the bed, or maybe I took them to Tunisia last September, ignoring the helpful information stamped all over the packaging: THESE ARE NOT SUNGLASSES. Um, really? The total price for a standard seat – if you haven’t added it by now – was a staggering £12.40 to watch a film that will cost three pounds less to own on DVD in a few months.

Here’s an idea though, Odeon. Why not slash your prices by 50%? Call me silly, but at just over six notes a movie I’m guessing more than double the twelve that turned up last night will show; and I reckon some of the former defectors will even be silly enough to buy some of your ridiculously overpriced and unsatisfying food. It’s not rocket science. As for the film, it’s a little bit worrying when you get more excited about a Star Trek movie than you do a Star Wars one. Luckily, fans of the latter finally have something to get enthusiastic about now JJ Abrams is on the case.

After the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a dangerous world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction, battling Robocop and trying to outwit Sherlock along the way. It’s gripping stuff. Abrams has created such a dazzling universe I can’t wait to see it without getting a headache halfway through. London has never looked so enticing, and the opening gambit across a brightly coloured vista is beautiful in its design and breath-taking in its action.

Into Darkness is replete with wonderful set-pieces, unexpected emotional depth and gratifying one-liners, helped by a strong cast and two exemplary villains. I’m sure there are plenty of smart nods for those Trekkies seeking such indulgence, but for the rest of us there are scantily clad females, three-ways and swear words. Everyone is a winner. Apart from Odeon, obviously. DW 

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