HORROR CLASSIC? THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE

Film: The Slumber Party Massacre **
Year: 1982
Certificate: 18
Running Time: 73 mins
Director: Amy Holden Jones
Starring: Michele Michaels, Robin Stille, Michael Villella, Debra Deliso
Genre: Horror
Format: DVD
Reviewer: Adam Wing

When it comes to revisiting classic horror movies of the eighties, it’s hard to ignore a movie that dares to call itself The Slumber Party Massacre. So I did what any self respecting film fan would do in this type of situation - I tracked down a copy as soon as possible. For arts sake, obviously. From a certain point of view, The Slumber Party Massacre doesn’t let you down. It’s a film about a girls slumber party, which means you’re forced to sit through the obligatory taking off of clothes, and the unavoidable putting on of skimpy nightwear. Then there’s the occasional shower scene, and don’t forget the whole ‘massacre’ part of proceedings. There’s bloodshed - usually naked - but there’s definitely bloodshed.

An eighteen-year-old high school girl is left at home alone, so she decides to have a slumber party. There’s friction between some of the guests and a new girl in town, but that’s about as deep as it gets, I really don’t want to overcomplicate matters. So the new girl decides to stay at home (just across the street from the host's house) to take care of her sister. Meanwhile, a radio broadcast informs us that a murderer - with a keen eye for power tools - is at large, and is making his way to the party. I’m pretty sure he has a back-story, but to be honest, any attempts at depth felt over-ambitious.

Before you cry ‘exploitation’, lets consider the facts. The Slumber Party Massacre was written, produced and directed by women. So there you have it, now run to the fridge and fetch me a cold one. There’s no sex of course, but there’s more than enough flesh on display, delivered alongside a bevy of classic lines like “I think your tits are getting bigger”. It really is that well written. The killer himself is about as scary as a kitten in a dress, and the death scenes - of which there are many - are less intimidating than taking your niece to The Bear Factory on a lazy afternoon. It’s amazing we never made it to major franchise territory, because The Slumber Party Massacre is just as bad as any of the Friday the 13th sequels, but with added tit.

I know what you’re thinking, how can I ignore a slasher movie called The Slumber Party Massacre? If you check out the trailer it will only encourage you more. Do yourself a favour though, put your hormones on hold and listen to common sense. If you’re anything like me then I apologise, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.