GREAT NIGHT IN: THE LOVED ONES (DVD) ****

"Still traumatized over the car crash that killed his father, Brent is picked out by classmate Lola to attend her gore-soaked private prom. Kidnapped by her devoted, not to mention totally demented father, Brent wakes to find himself strapped to a chair and being tortured while his girlfriend sits at home and wonders why he stood her up for the real thing. The Loved Ones is one of the best exploitation movies this decade, packed with delicious humour, gory mayhem and a cast to die for. Director Sean Byrne is certainly one to watch, injecting this low budget horror with a killer soundtrack and look-away setpieces at such a frenetic pace you'll never leave the edge of your seat. A bit like Brent. Only he has knives rammed in his feet to stop him going anywhere. Then there's that hole in his forehead..."

REVIEW: SPLICE (DVD)

Film: Splice ****
Release Date: 29th November 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 104 mins
Director: Vincenzo Natali
Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chaneac, Brandon McGibbon, Simona Maicanescu
Genre: Sci-fi/horror
Studio: Optimum
Format: DVD + Blu-ray
Country: Canada/France/USA

Vincenzo Natali has every right to be confused. Thirteen years ago, Phillip Schofield was struggling to cut and run from children’s television, eventually escaping mundane holiday documentaries to front the National Lottery Winning Lines programme, thus becoming a national treasure in England, epitomised by a game-show called ‘The Cube’, nowhere near as mesmerising as Natali’s mythical head screw many years earlier. Natali, meanwhile, fought against the tide, and years went by without the further success his criminally underrated sci-fi thriller warranted. Finally, somebody also decided to give him another shot, and Splice was his riposte…

Clive and Elsa are young and gifted Genetic Engineers, able to create new hybrids by splicing DNA from various animals. Blocked to delve further by their backers, a pharmaceutical company that funds their research, they must take the project underground.

Risking their careers they meddle with the boundaries of science by using the DNA from humans as well as that from different animals, creating Dren, a unique creature that’s not only intelligent but boasts unexpected physical attributes including an abnormal growth rate.

Trying to keep this beautiful monster a secret when all Dren wants to do is escape her mundane existence puts a huge strain on Clive and Elsa’s already fraught relationship, hindered by personal problems, increasingly suspicious backers, a devoted varmint and a botched scientific demonstration foreshadowing the gruesome horrors they are about to face…

It’s already common knowledge that Director Vincenzo Natali named his two protagonists after Elsa Lanchester and Colin Clive, leads from James Whale’s The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). Other than the mad scientist link, the only obvious comparison to Splice is Delphine Chaneac’s astonishing performance as Dren – her birdlike movements’ echo that of the Bride’s, with Lanchester once admitting she based her actions on the quick darting of swans. Expressive without the need for language, Chaneac does what Natasha Henstridge failed to do in Species (1995) and gives an intense yet beautiful performance that really tugs on the heartstrings.

The other two leads aren’t bad either: Polley is stubborn and ambitious, Brody is easily led and doesn’t like taking risks, but their relationship is believable and familiar as they try desperately to pull each other into similar directions (she wants a bigger house to work in but he wouldn’t mind her giving it up to raise a child). Neither character is off screen for any longer than a minute at a time, which enables the viewer to get to know them inside out. The problem is by having such few characters, even when Dren is teetering on madness, it wouldn’t make any sense to eliminate either Clive or Elsa, so tension is inevitably lost during those volatile scenes, and along with it some intriguing opportunities.

Having said that, one of the surprising things about Splice is its ability to turn the mad scientist movie into a fascinating drama, aroused by failing relationships and dark taboos neither Clive nor Elsa can hide from. There may be little in the way of scares during the opening two acts but that doesn’t matter because there are plenty of shocks, thanks to some ingenious plot devices and previously hidden character traits.

Only during the finale does the body count increase, and those that initially succumb to the frenzy are mere fodder an audience has failed to bond with. It’s a good excuse to dazzle us with some impressive effects though, even if you could be left wanting just that little bit more, Natali refusing to slow things down in a scene that if you blink you may miss the money shot. Only when Brody and Polley are under threat does the director finally manage to play out a tense, albeit brief, hide and seek, including a sinister twist that you probably won’t see coming. A lack of gore throughout will disappoint a few, but to compensate those splatter fans there is a completely insane botched scientific experiment that is arguably the best moment Splice will throw at you.

Natali’s ability to surprise is what makes this movie so enjoyable. Just when it seems the film is falling into a generic minefield he manages to take your breath away – it’s certainly not humbled to revel in such enjoyable fun. The introduction of Dren is tense and well-timed, not to mention impossibly cute, Clive’s attempts to drown their mistake adds a much-needed kick up the backside, the already mentioned performance by Ginger and Fred as hilarious as it is gory, while the twist that immediately follows hints at an intriguing move the script doesn’t fail to deliver. Other great moments involve Dren’s evolutionary add-on, a look away moment for cat lovers and two sexual encounters that will send your jaw plummeting to the floor.

By turning from Science fiction to all-out horror and switching locations midway through proceedings (gothic remote farmhouse always a winner) the screenplay does begin to tread familiar ground, and this is all a bit disappointing, delivering few chills and not enough action to keep the viewer on the edge of their seat. Even more frustrating is Dren mark two – whereas Dren was able to express her feelings with mesmerising ease, Natali does the unthinkable and decides to add the art of articulation to his monster’s list of attributes. Not only is the whole thing ultimately pointless, it’s cringe worthy, embarrassing and although only comprising of two futile words, nearly destroys all the good that went before it. Note to Natali: Monsters should never talk.

Able to belie its low budget constraints, Splice is a fascinating, fast-paced blend of Sci-fi and horror with the genuine ability to surprise and entertain, complimented by impressive performances and an utterly bewitching monster.

HUSH

. EXT. HELLATON COMMON. HALLOWEEN. 200 YEARS AGO

People clad in Halloween costumes pour over the bridge towards Hellaton Common, flocking around the gibbet. Some youngsters, anxious to impress, boo and hiss at the HANGMAN who is busy checking everything is in order.

CECILIA BERK appears, kneeling in a cart guarded by a group of soldiers, the noose already around her neck, the crowd very merry indeed.

Some who wanted to jeer find themselves praying, others drop their eyes but some allow their grubby children to throw rotten fruit and potatoes at her. The unlucky fellow pulling the cart is struck by one.

He looks at the boy who threw it, and then draws his thumb across his neck in a grisly way. The child backs off warily, leaving him to go about his business.

A young woman, concealing her features with a cloak, fights her way through the crowd. She is offered some rotten potatoes by a man standing beside a cart-load. She flatly refuses, pushing past to get to the front.

The crowds part to let CECILIA through as the drums roll.

GRUBBY MAN

An eye for an eye, Cecilia Berk!

GRUBBY WOMAN

Pillage in hell!

CECILIA raises her head, her eyes sweep across the crowd, searching for someone.

HANGMAN

(Repeatedly)

Please forgive me for what I am about to do.

A trumpet sounds. It is time. In front of CECILIA, the sinister disembowelling table sits waiting. The cloaked woman removes her hood; very pretty, late teens, her name is HARLA. She is too late. CECILIA catches sight of her.

HARLA

(Mouthing)

I’m sorry. I love you.

CECILIA

(Mouthing)

I love you too.

A tear runs down CECILIA’S cheek, all her courage finally deserting her. The HANGMAN secures the rope and knocks the stool away.

HARLA can’t watch as her mother flails, her legs kicking to find some miraculous purchase in the air. The hanging is over in a moment.

The HANGMAN cuts CECILIA down with a swing and eagerness HARLA finds disturbing. She has seen enough. She turns back, pulls her cloak over her head and fights her way through the crowd.

GRUBBY CHILD

You’re going to miss the best bit, lady.

HARLA ignores the child; in the background CECELIA is now on the disembowelling table. The HANGMAN raises his axe and it crashes down…

. EXT. HELLATON WOODS. PRESENT. HALLOWEEN

An axe falls, splitting the wood with drunken precision. The trees open into a clearing leading to a lake. A group of youths sit around a camp-fire in the middle of the glade.

One of the boys is carving a pumpkin with a large knife whilst the others laugh, smoke and drink alcohol, listening to pop-punk music from a mobile phone.

By the fire, a plump girl, VIXEN, leans forward, her arms stretched out as she tries to keep her hands warm. She is barely in her teens, watching footage shot from her mobile phone.

. ON MOBILE

VIXEN is acting up to the camera, in a corridor at school, somebody else is filming her.

. EXT. HELLATON WOODS. SAME TIME

Next to her, GREG, a hooded boy, swigs cider from a can.

GREG

Okay, I have one.

His eyes meet the oldest boy DAVID and they all wait for him to speak; another mobile phone points at him, recording…

GREG

They used to blame the old coffee factory for the awful stench on Elm Drive.

The recording is stopped to a chorus of sighs.

DAVID

Mate, seriously, you did this last year.

GREG

No I didn’t.

DAVID

Yeah, you did. The watchmaker who made more money supplying doctors with fresh corpses, only they come back to life and kill everyone in the village. It’s about as old as your mum, mate.

DAVID prods the fire, making sparks fly. He glances at VIXEN, her eyes still glued to the phone she is holding, and then he turns back to the others, leaning forward.

DAVID

Okay kids, buckle up.

He wakes a slumbering fire with more wood. Everyone but VIXEN seems to want to listen to what he has to say.

DAVID

There’s this girl - like Megan Fox only fitter. She’s searching these woods every night for a lover, singing a sad old song. No man can resist her. That’s when she kisses you. It’s cold, tasting of Earth.

The boys are extremely interested now.

GREG

(Motions to his groin)

Will she kiss this?

DAVID

Your mum won’t even kiss that.

The others laugh like the deranged disciples they are.

DAVID

She touches you, holds you, caresses you… pulling you down into the icy waters. You would happily lie with her forever, wrapped in her watery embrace, but she is gone.

The others boo and hiss in dissatisfaction.

DAVID

She's returned to the dark, lonely banks and you are forgotten. She’ll search for another lover but you’re no more, left down in the water’s cold depths forever, eyes unseeing, nothing but a memory, with weeds in your mouth.

DAVID freezes, peering towards the lake behind the VIXEN as if he has caught movement in the shadows; as though the mysterious woman is looking right at them.

They turn to the lake. Even VIXEN is intrigued enough to switch her attention from her phone, albeit briefly.

. ON SCREEN

The prettiest girl in school, MICHELLE, smiles nervously at the camera. She doesn’t like the attention given to her.

. EXT. HELLATON WOODS. SAME TIME

GREG jumps to his feet, his eyes drawn to the ruins of a lonely farmhouse on the other side. He scrutinizes the lake; the fire crackles behind him as the others approach with some kind of caution. He waits for something to happen but nothing does.

DAVID

Mate, even the dead don’t fancy you.

GREG spins around, about to retaliate, when…

A MASKED FIGURE RISES FROM THE WATER, WRAPPING ITS ARMS AROUND HIS LEGS, TRYING TO PULL HIM IN.

GREG

What the…

The masked figure thrashes about, refusing to let go. Too dark to fathom out what it is; GREG slips on the slippery surface, horrified, as the moment turns deadly serious.

He kicks out, catching the masked figure in the face, sending it backward, reeling. He breaks free; in his rush to escape he slips and falls head first into the mud.

Laughter erupts around him. He looks up to see their giddy faces; everyone but VIXEN laughing at him.

GREG turns back to the shadowy figure. DAVID shines a torch on the very thing he is looking at. Wearing cheap snorkelling gear, a young girl, her nose bloodied, has the widest grin of them all. Her name is DAWN.

DAWN

Prick - you didn’t have to kick me.

GREG is embarrassed as he clambers to his feet, dusting himself down. DAVID puts his arms around the girl.

DAVID

Meet Dawn – she’s one of us now.

GREG holds out his hand. DAWN shakes it, no hard feelings. VIXEN doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like her…

. ON SCREEN

The camera moves towards the PRETTY GIRL when… from behind, in a split instant, a hand grabs the back of the girl’s head and strikes down with force, slamming it against the desk as blood sprays the air.

The person holding the camera moves round and pulls back, revealing a menacing VIXEN behind the bloodied girl, trying to put up a fight but it’s useless. VIXEN is too strong for her.

Her head is slammed against the desk again.


. EXT. HELLATON WOODS. SAME TIME

VIXEN selects the ‘delete’ function but she is now distracted by what’s happening down by the lake.

GREG

(To David)

That was sick, mate. You know I hate water.

DAVID smiles smugly. He turns to VIXEN. She has vanished. He’s not the only one to have noticed, flashing DAWN a sour glance as a hiss runs through the other boys; one makes the sign of the hand to ward off evil.

DAVID steps forward. The remaining youths stand in unison behind him. Every one of them seems to be excited by the prospect of something.

Then, together, they pull masks over their heads. GREG wears a gimp latex atrocity, DAWN a high quality ventriloquist dummy doll and DAVID a gas mask with adjustable straps and plastic buckles.

They follow VIXEN into the woods.


. EXT. HELLATON WOODS – MOMENTS LATER

Glancing up through the branches of the trees VIXEN can see the cold glint of stars. She shivers, speeding up, when a distant howl stops her in her tracks.

She ignores it, hurriedly walking the rugged path when she hears a branch snap behind her just as a large hand grabs her shoulder and yanks her off her feet.

She hits the ground hard. Looking up, she sees nothing. She climbs to her feet, staring into the darkness.

VIXEN

Good one, guys.

Nothing. It’s difficult to make anything out amongst the shadows. Behind her, unknown to her, three masked figures appear. She senses them and spins. From the gleam in DAVID’S eyes he’s clearly enjoying himself.

VIXEN

I have to go.

DAVID and DAWN exchange glances, and then the girl reveals a pocket knife, pulling it back, bringing it forward quickly, and slashing VIXEN across the arm. VIXEN screams, staggering backwards.

VIXEN

You bitch - what the…?

DAWN lunges forward again but DAVID steps between them, towering over an apprehensive VIXEN. The others watch for any reaction from him. He takes the knife.

DAVID

You said you wanted out, V.

VIXEN

(Hesitates)

I’ve changed my mind.

He laughs at her lily-livered spirit.

DAVID

You’re getting too fat to be crawling through windows.

VIXEN looks at DAWN, her replacement, then at the knife. She makes a run for it, thundering through the woodland like she just wandered onto Elm Street by mistake.

DAWN wants to give chase, to prove herself but DAVID holds her back, giving VIXEN some kind of head start.

Not esteemed for her speed and athleticism, hounded to the point of extinction by three masked figures giving chase, she keeps her head down, barely able to see where she is headed.

She is out of breath, exhausted, her legs somehow moving as fast as evolutionary law will permit. She trips and falls on a branch hidden in a heap of leaves. She can feel the blood on her leg through the fresh tear in her jeans.

The hunters accelerate further, their shift in gears taking them ever closer to their prey. VIXEN struggles to her feet, all but giving up. Then a dull, hollow sound beneath her draws her eyes to the earth.

Moving her feet to shift the leaves, the twigs and the mud she sees some planks of rotting wood covering a hole. Foolishly, she stamps her foot on them. The wood gives way and VIXEN plummets downwards into the pit.

. INT. PIT – CONTINUOUS

It is dark. The mouth of the pit is a couple of metres wide, its throat at least twenty metres deep. A hunk of mud falls from above as two silhouettes peer into the cave. They seem so far away.

DAWN

Is she alive?

. EXT. HELLATON WOODS - CONTINUOUS

The hole could stretch for miles. It is impossible to tell now the sky is black and the rain is coming down by the bucketful.

GREG

I can’t see her. I can’t see anything.

DAVID appears. He stands between the others.

DAVID

(Calling out)

How are those maggots?

No reply. He smiles, looking less concerned than the others.

DAVID

Let’s go.

Another wedge of mud disappears inside the murkiness, convincing the three to turn back on their heels, deserting their helpless prey.

. INT. PIT

A foul stench sweeps over VIXEN’S bruised body as her eyes flicker into life. She can’t see a thing and it’s colder than Narnia. Clambering onto her knees she stumbles back, catching her balance in the sticky mire.

Her right arm hurts. She slumps against the wall of the cave, reaching into the pocket of her sodden jeans, pulling out her mobile phone with her left hand.

She illuminates her surroundings enough to see she is in big trouble. The hole she has fallen down is long and narrow, caked in gooey mud, barely wide enough for her to fall through, let alone climb back out of.

VIXEN emits a tiny scream of frustration when…

CREATURE

How are those maggots?

A long, maddening silence; the thought of something down there with her freaks her out. She lifts her phone again, her hand trembling as her eyes explore the bottom of the cave. It’s too dark. She can’t see anything.

She selects the camera function on her phone, pointing nervously at where she thinks the sound emanates. She clicks and waits. The camera flashes, lighting up the cave momentarily.

The photograph reveals how the cave stretches beyond the hole she has fallen down, its vastness unknown; just lots of dark places where something could hide. She takes another photograph. Click!

Her eyes comb the image, noticing what looks like a scaly hide, blurred and out of focus, in the bottom left hand corner. She takes a deep breath, aiming the camera more in that direction, taking the shot.

Click! She doesn’t want to look but she knows that she has to. Wide-eyed, she forces herself to glance at the image. All she can see is a wall of mud. Relieved but not convinced she takes another snap.

Click! Still nothing. She aims further right… Click! Nothing again. Click! Blackness. Lower down… Click…

BIG TEETH SNAPPING AT HER, RIGHT IN HER FACE!

MAY YOUR VOICE BE WITH YOU

Darth is a Scottish terrier. Scottish terriers are excellent guardians. Unfortunately, as you will soon discover, that can cause a lot of unrest for those whelps living on Little Bark Lane.

Thunder rumbled over the park on Little Bark Lane. Heavy rain fell upon the sleepy houses. It was a cold and miserable night.

Poppy was at home. He lay quivering underneath his blanket. He was scared of lightning. Actually, he was scared of everything. He was mostly scared of lightning.

George was also at home. He was watching television. Actually, he was trying to watch television. The thunder drowned out the sound. George hated thunder. George hated everything.

Iera was also struggling to sleep. He was distracted by something outside the window. He wasn’t scared by the lightning. He wasn’t annoyed by the thunder. Something else had caught his eye…

It looked like a dog. A weird dog. As if by magic, which it may or may not have been, it floated across the pavement, almost hover-like, towards Poppy’s house. “That’s no dog,” said Iera, “That’s a space dog.”

He was right, of course. Wasn’t he?

The next morning, Iera couldn’t wait to get to the park on Little Bark Lane. He was telling everyone about what he had seen the previous evening. “And then,” said Iera, “By magic, he opened up the gate without touching it.”

The throng of dogs fell silent. They were amazed. Some were scared. “Nonsense!” barked Bobby, “I’ve never heard so much rubbish in all my life."

Silence fell on Little Bark Lane. Every dog turned to Bobby. Bobby was the oldest dog in Little Bark Lane. Everyone respected him. “Don’t try and frighten us, Iera,” said Bobby, “Your sad devotion to films has not explained anything other than your warped imagination.”

Just then, Ridley started to choke. Holly was standing beside him. “Ridley, darling,” said Holly, “What’s wrong?” Ridley continued to choke. He choked and he choked and he choked. He even choked some more. His face had turned a sickly green colour. “I find your lack of faith disturbing,” said Iera. “Release him,” replied Bobby.

Iera didn’t know how to.

Just as well because it wasn’t a mysterious force that had made Ridley choke. Can you guess what it was?

It was a pile of poo! Why must Ridley always eat poo!?! What a silly dog. Ridley looked embarrassed. Iera looked embarrassed. Bobby looked annoyed. “Enough of this nonsense!” said Bobby, “This mysterious dog you speak about is just a crazy old story.”

“If that is so, where is Poppy?” asked Iera, “It was his house the space dog entered last night.” Iera was right - Poppy was nowhere to be seen. Bobby, for once, was speechless. For about a second.

“You must find Poppy,” said Bobby, “Only then will we believe your story, Iera.” “I can’t go alone,” said Iera, “It’s far too dangerous.” Bobby nodded in agreement. “Take George with you,” said Bobby, “He is old and wise. He will help you.”

Iera looked happier. George looked miserable. As usual!

After a short nap Iera and George walked down Little Bark Lane in search of Poppy. They searched and they searched and they searched. And then they searched some more. Poppy was nowhere to be seen. Not surprisingly George was even grumpier than usual.

They reached the end of Little Bark Lane. Iera wanted to turn left. George wanted to turn right. “Where do you think you’re going?” grumbled George, “I’m not going that way. It’s much too rocky. This way is much easier.”

“I have a feeling, that’s all,” replied Iera. “I don’t care about your stupid feelings!” snapped George, “Go that way. You’ll be lost within minutes you near-sighted fur-ball.” What a miserable dog!

Iera turned left, walking down the road by himself. “Don’t let me catch you begging for help,” barked George, “Because you won’t get it!” Iera wasn’t listening. He was far too concerned about Poppy’s disappearance.

Before they knew it, the day had turned to night. “That stupid little twerp,” snapped George, “This is all his fault. He tricked me in to going this way – but he’ll do no better.” Suddenly, George heard a noise. “What’s that?” asked George.

The noise was frightening. As if somebody was breathing heavily down his back. George spun round. He could see nothing. It was too dark. “Who are you?” asked George, nervously, “What do you want?” There was no reply.

The heavy breathing continued. It got louder. George was very frightened now. He was so frightened do you know what he did? He ran away. As quick as his little legs could carry him!

The next morning, every dog apart from Poppy was at the park. “Well, Iera,” said Bobby, “Did you find Poppy?” “No,” replied Iera. “And you, George,” asked Bobby, “Did you find Poppy?” “No,” replied George. “How odd,” said Bobby, “You found nothing at all?”

Iera shook his head. George shook his head. What a liar! Just then, it started to rain. The glorious sunshine had been replaced by dismal clouds. Every dog ran under the trees for shelter.

Standing by himself, George felt a sudden shiver down his back. Then he heard a noise. Not just any noise. Can you guess what it was?

“I’ve been waiting for you, George” said Darth, “We meet again at last.” George turned to see the mysterious Scottish terrier staring back at him. Darth continued to breathe heavily. He had a sinister, croaky voice. “You don’t scare me,” said George.

“You can’t win, Darth,” said George, “If you strike me down my friends will soon be over to sort you out.” “I don’t want to strike you down, George,” replied Darth. “Don’t play your silly mind games with me!” snapped George.
“I don’t want to win,” insisted Darth, “I don’t want to fight you.”

George wasn’t listening. He swung his stick at Darth. Darth blocked it. He retaliated, furiously swinging his stick at George. It knocked George’s stick from his grasp. Darth had won. George was suddenly very frightened.

“Enough of this nonsense!” barked Bobby, as he made his way over to George and Darth, “What have you done with Poppy, Darth?” “Who’s Poppy?” replied Darth… “I was hoping one of you could tell me the way to the vets. I have a terrible sore throat.”

Darth’s breathing was getting worse, as was his croaky voice. “But, the other night” said Iera, “You opened Poppy’s gate by magic.” “No I didn’t,” replied Darth, “That was the wind.” Everyone felt very embarrassed.

“We have misjudged you,” said Bobby, “I can only apologise.” “Don’t worry,” replied Darth, “It happens all the time.” And with that, he was gone - seriously, he just disappeared!

Before the gang knew it, glorious sunshine had dried up all the rain. That’s when Poppy appeared. “Where have you been?” asked Bobby. “We searched all over for you,” said Iera. “I had a fight for you,” said George. George never told Poppy he actually lost the fight!

“Where do you think?” replied Poppy… “I was hiding, of course!”

MUST OWN: TOY STORY 3 (DVD) *****

"If Star Wars didn't exist, Toy Story would be the greatest trilogy ever, and this, the final part, is the funniest and most heartwarming out of the three. An unmissable classic."

GOOD NIGHT IN: FOUR LIONS (DVD) ***

"Terrorism is about ideology - it can also be about idiots. Chris Morris delivers an often funny and emotionally engaging tale that fails to better the highs of blowing up a crow. Stick with the endearing ludicrousness and frustratingly stupid characters (Riz Ahmed the exception) and be rewarded with an explosive final act that delivers, up to a point."

  

CAUGHT LIVE: THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM, CHUCK RAGAN @ ROCK CITY, NOTTINGHAM *****

"The Gaslight Anthem's rise has been swift, but they've done it the hard way, with near-constant touring and Brian Fallon's firm commitment to the art of songwriting. They will always be compared to Springsteen but their setlist tonight proves they can stand alone: The Spirit of Jazz, Boxer and Casanova Baby! lift the paying public from the get-go, while fallon's lengthy ramblings between tracks charms most here this evening. Some older tracks are dusted down and are made to feel just as welcome as classics such as Great Expectations and The 59' Sound, while a four-track encore including American Slang and closer The Backseat send all in this packed venue home happy. They'll also be checking out Chuck Ragan's material too, who manages to generate a real sense of excitement with his gnarly vocals and cracking melodies - songs taken from his Feast Or Famine and Gold Country albums. All in all, a feast of top notch music and solid gold entertainment to warm even the hardest hearts on this cold November evening."

 

REVIEW: THE MAID (DVD)

Film: The Maid ****
Release Date: 8th November 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 94 mins
Director: Sebastian Silva
Starring: Catalina Saavedra, Claudia Celedon, Mariana Loyola, Alejandro Goic, Anita Reeves
Genre: Drama
Studio: Artificial Eye
Format: DVD
Country: Chile/Mexico

A winner at Sundance and a Golden Globe nomination for Best Foreign Language Film, The Maid is Sebastian Silva’s second feature, following on from the highly acclaimed La Vida Me Mata (Life Kills Me). Reuniting some of the cast, including a starring role for Catalina Saavedra, it took many critics by surprise and is released this month on DVD.

Raquel (Catalina Saavedra) has spent 23 years working as housemaid in an upper class Santiago household; as much a part of the Valdez family as those she lives with and looks after. Plagued by migraines and dizziness, Raquel begins to question her role in the house but more importantly, she questions her life, not helped by her struggling relationship with the family’s vibrant daughter Camila.

To improve Raquel’s increasingly poor health and ease her workload the family hires a second maid – a young and pretty Peruvian called Mercedes. Although a hit with the family, Mercedes is tormented by a threatened Raquel with a campaign of psychological abuse and pettiness that eventually drives the young girl away.

Undeterred, the family hire a more experienced housemaid called Sonia – the two old hands eventually coming to blows after yet more misery served up by Raquel, who is growing increasingly desperate to retain her spurious status.

Her victory is brief. After collapsing she begrudgingly accepts a period of bed rest, soon to discover that Lucy, a cheerful and stubborn new maid, has effectively taken her place. Will her terror tactics work again, or will Lucy be able to finally show Raquel how to appreciate life beyond the household…

Director Sebastian Silva utilizes intentionally gritty and harsh handheld trickery, often lingering on angles and close-ups to emphasize the painful, all-too-real aspects of The Maid’s emotional character study. By ditching the soundtrack altogether, the viewer is hypnotised by these naturalistic techniques and becomes almost part of the family in a way Raquel can only dream of.

Most impressively, Silva manages to etch an almost romantic friendship between Raquel and Lucy which forms the backbone of a film that could otherwise stumble into complete nothingness  or, worse still, all too obvious slasher territory. It takes such a relationship to remind Raquel that in truth she is merely an employee, and in that sense, expendable. Yet, the family shares no understanding of her deep attachment to them or how important she actually is. Highlighted brilliantly when Raquel spills the beans on the eldest son’s bedtime habits, the simple truth is that she knows each family member better than anyone, including their deepest and darkest secrets.

With slow and deliberate pacing, the film only struggles momentarily when the third maid is introduced. It’s a case of ‘here we go again’ until Silva changes direction and finally lets the audience witness a side to Raquel that never seemed possible. Catalina Saavedra’s performance is truly astonishing and deserves all the plaudits – with a creepy, miserable demeanor that borders on psychotic, it’s hard to fathom how she manages to create so much empathy. And yet she does, because whenever a rare smile crawls across her face it’s difficult not to smile along with her, pleased she’s finally found some form of happiness, no matter how fleeting.

Saavedra is supported by an outstanding cast; the most enjoyable performance coming from Anita Reeves, playing a stubborn battleaxe called Sonia who refuses to get too close with any of her employees and is bewildered by Raquel’s insistence that she is part of the family. There’s even a tense, if slightly unconvincing setpiece, when Sonia must scale the roof of the house after Raquel has locked her out. The resulting catfight is another cracking moment.

Superior casting aside, the viewer is also rewarded with some well-placed humour and neat chills: the eldest son betrayed by a woman he loves more than anyone when she tells his mother how frustrated she is with having to wash his pyjamas and bed sheets every day is cringe worthy yet funny, as is Lucy’s topless sunbathing to evoke a smile or two from her misunderstood nemesis. Meanwhile, a scene that reveals Raquel’s darker side when Pilar Valdez, the mother, discovers a photograph album in her room with her daughter’s image continually scratched out, sends a shiver down the spine as we’re left to wonder quite which direction the film is heading.

Of course, there are a few gripes as well: Raquel and daughter Camila’s relationship is never fully explored to understand its complexities. Instead, you can only assume that Camila’s pretty, full-of-life personality seriously troubles Raquel, whose life is predictable, dull and getting shorter by the second. At times the film is just too claustrophobic, a relief when the drama is finally taken outside, while the shower scenes and brief nudity aren’t necessary, and the amusing moments when Raquel locks each maid out of the house become slightly tiresome, questioning why they don’t just ask for a key to combat the inane madness.

Reshaped superbly at the halfway point into a beautiful tale of friendship, The Maid is a gripping character study with a masterful performance from Catalina Saavedra that just simply demands your attention.

REVIEW: VAMPIRE KNIGHT (DVD)

Film: Vampire Knight – Volume One **

Release Date: 22nd November 2010

Certificate: 12

Running time: 100 mins

Director: Kiyoko Sayama

Starring: Yui Horie, Mamoru Miyano, Susumu Chiba

Genre: Animation

Format: DVD

Country: Japan

The popular Vampire Knight, a shōjo manga and anime series written by Matsuri Hino, premiered in the January 2005 issue of LaLa magazine and is still on-going. The television series was quick to follow, airing in Japan in April 2008, finally released in the UK on DVD this month, beginning with volume one and the first four episodes – so was it worth the wait?

The earliest thing Yuki remembers is being attacked on a snowy night by a vampire, and being rescued by Kaname, another vampire. Ten years later, still haunted by those memories, Yuki is now the adopted daughter of the Headmaster of Cross Academy.

Keeping peace at the academy with her friend Zero, her main duties are to ensure no problems arise between the freshmen that attend Day Class and those that seek out new blood, quite literally, as they vamp it up at Night Class.

Hindered by her hormones, Yuki is soon torn between Kaname, a pureblood who saved her life, and Zero, once bitten by a pureblood, now struggling to halt his slow transformation into the creature he loathes most – a vampire…

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? You could argue that this release is jumping on the Twilight bandwagon, if it wasn’t for the fact that it came first. A twisted love triangle then, if ever there wasn’t one, and the first volume struggles just as much to deliver a plot as the fore-mentioned slayer of vampire movies.

Yet it goes one better, because the little storyline on show here is rammed down the viewer’s throat so forcibly, time and time again, it’s like painting by numbers, with only one colour needed – a very dull grey.

Instead of using the medium it was created for, backstory is created by non-stop dialogue, saving the audience the trouble of thinking. This would be okay, and welcome in parts, if the plot was as audacious as Ghost in the Shell (1995), but quite frankly, it isn’t, and is an embarrassment for all those concerned. Worst of all, Episode four, ‘Trigger of Conviction’, dares to include flashbacks, just incase something blatantly obvious was missed. Thanks for that.

So, director Kiyoko Sayama manages with ease the ridiculous feat of making the three protagonists' affections simultaneously obvious, handling Yuki's discovery of Zero's ailment, supposedly the volume's solitary peak, with clumsy precision. In fact, not one of the three main characters comes away from this scenario with any dignity. Zero, at one stage threatening to do the viewer a favour by blowing his brains out, lacks empathy because he’s so miserable, Kaname’s obsession with Yuki is never explored, therefore bordering on psychotic, and Yuki’s failure to grasp the bigger picture suggests she’s a bit stupid.

When Sayama does finally move away from the hideous forbidden-love-that-isn’t plot she actually shows some promise. Episode three hints at better things to come when a freaky Gollum-like vampire stalks Yuki in the series’ best moments; but even then, the tension is almost ruined by Yuki talking aloud, realising that this beast must be naughty because it isn’t as beautiful as all the other Vampires at Night School.

The goofy humour is enjoyable at first, yet quickly becomes repetitive, insulting the otherwise impressive gothic visuals on offer (a shame more time wasn’t spent on the screenplay), while the opening score is almost as long as the episode itself – an intro that offers much but delivers so very little. So very little, in fact, that episode two revolves around the day-school students offering chocolates to their beloved night-school comrades, blissfully unaware that they are actually vampires – and that’s it. Seriously, it would be nice if just one of the students actually questioned a need for night school – it’s not like they think they’re all insomniacs, or something.

You could argue that Vampire Knight sticks faithfully to the manga series, concentrating more on romance rather than action, and while the love triangle is nothing new, especially post-twilight, it does carry with it some potential, certainly pleasing fans of the original material. Having said that, the few moments of real inspiration are pushed to one side, in favour of that romance, so much so that it’s questionable whether Sayama will be able to introduce the students of Cross Academy to a wider audience.

While the basic premise of Vampire Knight might sound like a rehash of Twilight, watching it unfold is something else far less exciting; lacking in plot, humour or bite, the only thing on offer here worthy of praise is its short running time. Volume two should never be exposed to daylight.

QUIET NIGHT IN: EDGE OF DARKNESS (DVD) ***

"When his daughter is killed in front of him, police assume veteran Boston detective Thomas Craven (Mel Gibson) was the target. Craven soon suspects otherwise, resulting in this sluggish thriller, rescued by acts of random brutality and Mel Gibson's excellent comeback performance."

REVIEW: DOUGAL AND THE BLUE CAT (DVD)

Film: Dougal and the Blue Cat ****
Release Date: 1st November 2010
Certificate: U
Running time: 79 mins
Director: Serge Danot
Starring: Christian Riehl, Paul Bisciglia, Nadine Legrand, Jean-luc Tardieu
Genre: Animation
Studio: Second Sight
Format: DVD
Country: France

Created by stop-motion animator Serge Danot, The Magic Roundabout was initially a French TV series for children. Only after the BBC bought the series in 1965 and enlisted Play School regular Eric Thompson to transform the programme did it cast its spell over the rest of the World. With Thompson throwing away the French scripts and writing new ones, with all-new dialogue and quintessential characters, it was hard to imagine the series without our beloved Dougal, Florence et al. With the release of Dougal and the Blue Cat, including the original French version ‘Pollux and the Blue Cat’, we are finally able to compare these two fascinating feature-lengths.

Pollux and the Blue Cat (1970)

Pollux the dog, troubled by an eerie dream, is further dismayed by the arrival of a blue cat to the Beautiful Wood. While the Wood’s other residents try to welcome him, the ever-suspicious Pollux is watching his every move.

When the blue cat ventures into the forbidden part of the Beautiful Wood, things take a turn for the worse. Unknown to Pollux and the rest of his friends, the cat has begun his quest to take over their beloved home, turning it entirely blue with the aid of the ‘blue voice’ and an abandoned factory housing an army to destroy all that isn’t.

Pollux will need to regain the trust of his friends if he is to rescue them from imprisonment and restore the Beautiful Wood to its former flamboyant glories…

Dougal and the Blue Cat (1972)

Dougal, troubled by a terrifying noise during the night, seeks answers from his friends Zebedee and Florence, whom are unable to help, distracted instead by the new arrival in the Magic Garden – a blue cat called Buxton.

While the Garden’s other residents welcome him, the ever-suspicious Dougal is watching his every move, and when Buxton is spotted talking to a mysterious ‘blue voice’ before entering a derelict factory on the outskirts of their world, things unsurprisingly take a turn for the worse.

Unknown to Dougal and the rest of his friends, Buxton has begun his quest to take over the Magic Garden, turning it entirely blue with the aid of the ‘blue voice’ and an army to destroy all that isn’t.

Dougal will need to regain the trust of his friends if he is to rescue them from imprisonment and restore the Garden to its former flamboyant glories…

If Eric Thompson really did tear up the scripts to the French version of The Magic Roundabout and create his own plots, he shared a spookily similar vision to Danot’s, as both versions are almost identical in ways of storyline. His daughter, actress Emma Thompson, to this day insists that her father would watch reels of soundless footage, conjuring up quirky stories for the television series, and this may be true, but to get a feature-length almost spot on seems all too coincidental.

Having said that, out of the two on show here, Danot’s Pollux and the Blue Cat is the more polished, and understandably so, with fabulously quirky ditties complementing the story rather than hindering it, even if Florence’s heart-breaking final song in Thompson’s adaptation is by far the best of the whole bunch.

Pollux is most definitely aimed primarily at children – its characters are more child-friendly and stereotypical. Pollux is a dog that dislikes cats, Ambroise is a cow that just wants to eat grass (lots of it), while Flappy the bunny is lazy, pure and simple. There are no sneaky drug references or political sideswipes aimed predominantly at the student audience of Thompson’s version, and forgiving the racist tones of a narrow-sighted Chinese impersonation that appears in both, every character is straightforward and perhaps more boring because of it.

What is surprising, then, is just how creepy Danot’s creation actually is. Only twice during Dougal and the Blue Cat do the hairs stand up on the back of the neck: firstly, when Dougal confronts the spectacularly creepy noise disrupting his sleep, and secondly, when Buxton enters the nightmare room during his quest to become king – the sinister soundtrack supporting the odd, angular, almost German-expressionist visuals.

In Pollux and the Blue Cat, the spooky noise is replaced by a dull mechanical one, yet the factory in the forbidden part of the wood is fantastically used to make whips for hitting children. Only on discovering this does the mad army that captures the inhabitants of the wood make any sense – they are whips, something not made clear either by the visuals or by Thompson’s interpretation.

It doesn’t end with the whips though. Danot doesn’t need a creepy score in the nightmare room to create fear, as the blue cat and the blue voice already conjure enough with their threatening powers of articulation. Then there is the sixth room in the factory, the one where they make the whips to hurt the flowers and the children of the beautiful wood, and an assault on its community that will see mostly younger viewers reach for a cushion or two.

Thompson wins brownie points for turning Danot’s 'storeroom of sugar' challenge into a torture chamber unfit for the salivating Dougal to try and negotiate, but for the most part Pollux and the Blue Cat is a far more intriguing and coherent piece of storytelling.

Yet Eric Thompson manages to give each character a unique charm, by now adored by millions, and it’s not hard to see why the series, and this film, is cherished by so many. With wonderful one-liners such as “What a place, worse than Barnsley”, “Do you come here often?” and “Remember you’re British!” Thompson was able to connect with both children and adults alike, helped in no small way by political commentary, references to current affairs and nods to other British institutions (Dougal dyes his fur blue and calls himself Blue Peter in order to infiltrate Buxton’s blue factory unnoticed).

Pollux isn’t without its humorous moments either: “Thank god there’s a dark side - much less to paint” is uttered during a trip to the moon to paint it blue, “We have no gutters in the Beautiful Wood” comments Pollux on meeting the blue cat for the first time, and the clever “She’ll be black and blue” line delivered in the final moments to instigate more dog versus cat violence.

Combined with Danot’s charming animation, both versions are feasts for the eyes, regardless of age or nationality, and although short on running time, with a plodding introduction Thompson struggles to fill, the transition from five-minutes to feature-length is made with considerable ease.

Dougal and the Blue Cat is a wonderful achievement, blessed with delightful characters and light-heartedness that will appeal to all ages. But ignore Pollux at your peril. Darker, more coherent and just as witty, Danot’s version is actually superior, making this DVD an essential purchase and an absolute treat.