COMEDY GOLD: HOT TUB TIME MACHINE (DVD) ****

"One of, if not the, best comedies of 2010, Hot Tub Time Machine is out to buy on DVD now. Hilarious, and quite frankly, brilliant, with inspired pay-offs and a crowd-pleasing cameo by Crispin Glover, make sure you don't miss out on 90 minutes of comedy genius."

MUSIC: FOO FIGHTERS ON TOUR

Foo Fighters headline the Milton Keynes Bowl next summer with a two night stint at the start of July. Supported by the brilliant Biffy Clyro on both nights, they are also joined by Death Cab For Cutie on the 2nd, but even better still, Jimmy Eat World on the 3rd. Tickets go on sale 5th November at 9am.

ONE TO WATCH: [REC] 2 (DVD) ***

"Continuing from where the superb original finished, [Rec] 2 goes straight for the throat, attacking us with a fast, frenetic pace that never lets up. An unlikely twist adds an intruiging dimension but the characters are mere fodder this time round. Still, it's entertaining stuff, with enough gore for any hound, and some solid chills to satisfy viewers tired of those shock-scare moments which fail to have the same impact as the ones that terrified us so brilliantly first time round."

  

REVIEW: CARLOS (DVD)

Film: Carlos ***
Release Date: 1st November 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 338 mins
Director: Olivier Assavas
Starring: Juana Acosta, Edgar Ramirez, Alexander Scheer, Alejandro Arroyo, Ahmad Kaabour
Genre: Biography/Crime/Drama/History/Thriller
Studio: Optimum
Format: DVD
Country: France/Germany

Carlos, real name Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, was so central in the history of international terrorism during the seventies and eighties he became a minor celebrity – people feared and admired him in equal measure. His imposing personality enabled him to form his own organisation, one that famously raided the annual meeting of Opec Oil Ministers in 1975. With extensive cuts for its theatrical release, this version is the original three-episode television series, tracing 20 years in the life of a notorious terrorist.

Ilich had grown tired of political demonstrations that, in his mind, did very little and didn’t mean a thing. Using more brutal methods to get his message across, it isn’t long before he changes his name to Carlos, an intimidating figure of the extreme left and an opportunistic mercenary in the pay of powerful Middle Eastern secret services.

After a few successful and some botched operations, Carlos ultimately fails in an attempt to take hostage Oil ministers attending the annual meeting of Opec, angering his employers who feel that he has betrayed them by taking money for freedom and not completing the mission.

Dumped for the next assault, Carlos soon realises he is no longer part of the group, but decides now is the time to set up his own organisation. Based in East Berlin, his romantic interests hinder his group’s progress and creates conflict that could alter a certain comrade’s commitment to the revolution.

Inevitably, Carlos struggles to find the necessary support in order to keep his organisation going – colleagues are arrested and imprisoned, his partner is unable to raise their child by herself in such futile circumstances, his body is failing to cope with the physical demands his chosen path brings, and places to hide are becoming increasingly hard to find…

About two thirds of the way into Olivier Assavas’s biopic Carlos its intriguing plot veers dangerously close to running out of steam. Which is a bit of a nightmare seeing as we still have one episode to go – it’s longest, almost hitting the two-hour mark. Fortunately, after a meandering finale to end part two, the final instalment, and the director, gets back on track by juicing up the love triangle, promising conflict by the bucket load. Sadly, because the film is based on real events, interesting plot twists and the fascinating sub-plot are never explored, summing up why Carlos will never be fully appreciated – it’s just far too real and ultimately hard work.

Therefore, the resulting film is a strange beast. For instance, Assavas handles the visual aspect of the film with style, complimented by the performances – Acosta is astonishing, who gives his all to the role of Carlos, to the point where a weight gain during his spell in hiding adds simple but brilliant realism – there’s no question whatsoever about the state of his mind: he’s an arrogant man who wants to be remembered, maybe even admired, taking ludicrous measures to preserve his reputation.

The seamless fast-paced editing, mixed with a clever blending of black and white newsreels and footage, propels the action, of which there is plenty, into another realm altogether – so much so, the quieter moments are dull in comparison, even if they are seemingly required. A sparse punk soundtrack adds a bit of extra rebellion to proceedings, but it’s the simple use of gunfire that really gets the adrenalin pumping, especially during those frenetic hostage-taking scenes.

Jumping from country to country, from language to language, most of the dialogue is spoken in English, which certainly takes the pressure off this five-hour plus marathon. There’s humour here too, whether it be Acosta’s neat one-liners, or the often-hilarious mistakes his comrades make (blowing up the wrong plane, twice, for instance), made the more amusing because it actually happened. Even better still, in the funniest moment, there’s always someone else who will take the credit for your mistakes.

The major problem with tracing twenty years of someone’s life is that, no matter how long the film is, it will still somehow feel rushed. Assavas doesn’t seem to have a problem with skipping a year or two when he sees fit, which ultimately leaves the viewer feeling a little bit lost and left out – surely something must’ve happened during such a length of time, and if not, why choose some scenes, for arguments sake the entire last hour, in which nothing much happens apart from running from one hiding place to another, in place of others that would show Carlos in a more fearsome light. At times he does seem all too likeable, which is arguably why he was seen as such a celebrity, but also why the end result is somewhat disappointing.

Having said that, the opening three-and-a-bit hours hurtle by, with the first half of episode two a magnificent lesson in suspense and high-octane action. But once again, this brings its problems. History tells us that Carlos’s raid on the annual meeting of Opec Oil Ministers was his finest achievement, so what happens after that? Well, he ends up teaching, he struggles to raise a child, he decides to have liposuction and his testicles are seriously giving him grief. Hardly worth another two hours, right? Maybe not…

Told in chronological order and with shifting levels of reality and fiction, the heart of Carlos is Juana Acosta’s outstanding performance, but the film is let down by the realities that finally befall the main man – simply, in this day and age, they just aren’t that interesting.

DVD RELEASE: CARRIERS ***

"Searching for a cure, or even a glimmer of hope, Carriers is bleak yet beautiful, shielded by some neat twists and good performances, infected by a lack of chills and an ending that, sadly, bleeds pointlessness."

REVIEW: BIG TITS ZOMBIE (DVD)

Film: Big Tits Zombie ***
Release Date: 11th October 2010
Certificate: 15
Running time: 73 mins
Director: Takao Nakano
Starring: Sola Aoi, Io Aikawa, Risa Kasumi, Saori Ando, Kaworu Asakusa.
Genre: Horror/Splatter/Comedy
Format: DVD
Country: Japan

The popular, well-endowed sex goddess, Sola Aoi, an idol in the Japanese Adult Video industry, stars in one of the daftest film titles of the year - Big Tits Zombie. If that isn’t enough, she also pops up, and pops out, in 3D. Available to buy on DVD this month, what’s not to like?

Lena is a young dancer trying to find her way in the world. Returning to Japan from Mexico, she is offered a job at the Paradise Ikagawa theatre, a struggling club in a deserted suburban town where she performs with four other girls, despite its lack of clients.

With little to do other than bitch at each other to pass the time of day, one of the girls happens upon a hidden door in their dressing room, leading them to a basement beneath the condemned Health Spa across the street.

Discovering a mysterious well, a box of money and otherworldly possessions such as the book of the dead, dancer Maria inadvertently summons the fallen back to life. With a thirst for the red stuff, the zombies attack anyone who stands in their way.

Lena and the rest of her posse must band together if they are to overcome the mass hordes of slaughtered souls, but Maria, learning she actually has the power to control them, has other ideas…

Barely attempting to construct anything resembling a plot, Takao Nakano is content to allow his adult video starlets to run proceedings, even if they are just squabbling for the first half hour. Though there is brief nudity here, the action is surprisingly less explicit than the title would suggest.

Therefore, other than an intriguing introduction that will please most hardened splatter fans, there is little in the opening act to sustain too much interest, unless scantily clad girls scrapping and bemoaning their shortcomings gets your adrenalin pumping. Considering that the five girls are supposed to be dancers, it’s little wonder they have no punters – 3D or not, they make Anne Widdecombe look like Anna Pavlova.

Only on the discovery of the hidden door does the film come to life, and boasts some memorable highlights. Obviously fans of Sola Aoi and Risa Kasumi will be glad to see them here, and Sola certainly holds her own in the acting department. In fact, all of the five female leads acquit themselves well and offer a few good chuckles here and there.

Highlights include sushi zombies, zombies playing table tennis and Maria’s realisation that she can control the deadheads after failed attempts using lollipops and her obvious attributes. Then there’s the revisited opening stand-off, an old man who “looks dead all the time”, the apologetic blue ogre, and a scene stealer involving a flame-throwing vagina. The latter sits so out of place with the movie’s otherwise tame shenanigans you’ll be forgiven for picking your jaw up off the floor, and frustrated that nothing that follows comes even close to it.

The martial arts bloodbath is slightly let down by the use of CGI blood, and it has to be said, the title may disappoint those seeking a bit of titillation. It is on offer here, but only fleetingly, and although big is rarely better, the movie would benefit from a title that doesn’t deceive its audience. They should’ve just called it Zombie. However, those gore-hounds that seek such a provocative moment will be rewarded eventually…

As for the 3D, for some bizarre reason the viewer is treated to it only sparingly, with a hilarious countdown in the top left corner encouraging them to reach for those ill-fitting glasses. Whether it works is another thing – two owned pairs did little other than induce a headache – it will be interesting to see whether or not specs that improve the final result are given away free on its release. And if they are, and they do add a much needed element, why are some scenes that appear to be designed for this purpose completely ignored in favour of 2D?

Gripes aside, at times Big Tits Zombie is nicely shot, and boasts a wonderfully catchy score reminiscent of a spaghetti western. The plot also benefits from the character Maria going power-mad. She creates much needed conflict in the final third, other than that generated by the zombies, whom all boast shoddy make-up that wouldn’t even terrify a three-year-old. At least the girls are pleasing on the eye, with Sola Aoi looking the most comfortable in her zombie-whipping-ass-kicking role; shame her weapon of choice, the chainsaw, doesn’t always appear to be fired up, even if it’s making the right noises.

Irredeemably trashy and at times fun, Big Tits Zombie goes straight for the splatter-audience jugular and only just misses the target. Lacking in skin and with an opening act that moves along slower than the walking dead, it’s a relief to eventually discover an often amusing film that finally manages to surprise and entertain, up to a point.

GOOD NIGHT IN: FROZEN (DVD) ***

"At times hard to swallow but there are decent chills here, and if three people on a ski-lift can manage to keep you entertained for ninety minutes it must be doing something right."

MUST SEE: THE KILLER INSIDE ME (DVD) ****

"At times hard to watch, but for the most part, magnificent, Affleck shines in this brutal thriller you just have to see."

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO... LINKIN PARK?

ALBUM: A THOUSAND SUNS **

"A brilliant debut, but it was downhill from there. Like Coldplay, only slightly less frustrating."

REVIEW: GUILLERMO DEL TORO BOX SET (BLU-RAY/DVD)

Film: Guillermo Del Toro Box Set – Cronos, The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth ****
Release Date: 25th October 2010
Certificate: 18
Running time: 319 mins
Director: Guillermo Del Toro
Starring: Ron Perlman, Federico Luppi, Ivana Baquero
Genre: Horror/Fantasy
Format: DVD
Country: Mexico/Spain

Crafting some of horror’s most unusual works, Guillermo Del Toro is first and foremost a horror fan, not prepared to simply get the job done – and boy, does it show. His works over the years have included the underrated Mimic, Blade 2 and both Hellboy and its sequel. This collection, released for the first time on Blu-ray, showcases his talent for producing poignant chills with his first feature Cronos, The Devil’s Backbone and the much-celebrated Pan’s Labyrinth.

Cronos (1993)

Jesus Gris (Federico Luppi) is an elderly antiques dealer who happens upon an ancient mechanical device, shaped like a beetle, once belonging to a 16th century alchemist.

Housing an immortal parasite which offers him the chance of eternal life, Gris readily agrees, at first not overly concerned about an extreme aversion to daylight and an agonising thirst for human blood – the pros far weighing out the cons as he grows ever more youthful with every sip.

That is until he yearns for the vital fluid of his innocent granddaughter…

With its plentiful supply of body horror and insects guaranteed to leave us insecure at the very least, Cronos is a neat vampire riff that’s imaginative, witty and right on the money.

If clamping the ancient device on Luppi’s chest doesn’t make you look away, or if beetles escaping from one of the holes in the statue fail to send a chill down your spine, the trashy image of Jesus licking blood from a white-tiled toilet floor will certainly affect you.

Federico Luppi and Ron Perlman are superb as the warring relations, with spot-on dialogue that requires little padding to move the story on at a satisfying pace. The special effects and locations still fascinate, and the gothic soundtrack compliments the former splendidly.

Dark, and in places extremely stylish, Del Toro’s first outing at the tender age of 29 is perhaps let down by a script that never really hits full throttle – yet its deliciously entertaining and frightfully scary nonetheless; certainly worth getting your teeth into.

The Devil’s Backbone (2001)

Set during the final days of the Civil War, the young inhabitants of a Spanish Orphanage are brutally terrorised by Santi, a decaying spirit who stalks the building’s dark, decaying hallways.

Carlos, a ten-year-old boy, son of a fallen Republican hero, is badgered incessantly by the child-like ghost upon his arrival. Having to contend with a violent caretaker, a bully, and an un-exploded bomb that dominates the Orphanage’s courtyard, still ticking away, Santi latching onto him is all too much.

The only way to rid himself of the spirit is to delve into the past and learn the true story of the child’s death, in turn revealing the real source of danger and interpreting the ghost’s gloomy prediction that “Many of you will die”…

More than just a simple ghost story, The Devil’s Backbone somehow manages to pull its diverse sub-plots together in such an explicable and beautifully realised way that come the final third, you’ll be deeply moved and will completely forget about how terrifying the journey actually was.

It may build slowly, but the tense murder-mystery elements that keep you guessing until the very end, tinged with unspeakable brutality and fantastic performances from its cast of mainly children, will barely leave you time to breathe.

It’s because of the excellent performances that we do find enough empathy, even for the tormenting ghost Santi, and also why Del Toro doesn’t need to try too hard to scare us. Children are more likely to open doors they shouldn’t, after all. That’s not to say the chills are lazy, even if the finer moments take place in the basement and when Carlos is hiding in the closet.

Atmospheric visuals and subtle special effects are enhanced by an eerie soundtrack punctured by mysterious noises that really add to the tension, but it’s the emotional finale that will really send a lump down the throat – an underrated horror classic.

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

A companion piece to the Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth follows Ofelia, a young girl uprooted to a remote military outpost commanded by her new stepfather, a sadistic general in Franco’s army during the harsh realities of the Civil War.

Powerless and lonely, Ofelia discovers a neglected labyrinth behind the family home. Meeting Pan, a fantastical creature who challenges her with three tasks which he claims will reveal her true identity, a Princess, she lives out her own dark fable, confronting monsters both otherworldly and human, hoping to finally meet her real father, the King…

Without doubt, a fairytale for grown-ups, Pan’s Labyrinth steals cheekily from all those before it – whether it be Sergi Lopez playing the big bad wolf in the shape of Ofelia’s stepfather, the housekeeper’s fairy godmother, the movie’s haunted forests and rural setting, or its nods to other classics such as The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and The Wizard of Oz.

Only, there are more than just devilish sprites, cheeky fauns and twisted witches on offer here. In fact, the real terror comes from the real world rather than that of Ofelia’s imagination – a place so violent and bleak it’s no wonder she so gratefully accepts the three challenges in order to prove her royal status.

The true monster is the sadistic general as he tries to stamp out the left-wing using whatever means necessary, reveling in scenes that are extremely difficult to watch as Del Toro charts the evil that men can do with look-away precision.

The scene stealer, however, is pure fantasy. One of the greatest ever horror scenes occurs when Ofelia is confronted by the Pale Man, a hideous monster with no eyes catching his beauty sleep until she awakens him by foolishly stealing some of his food. Timing is everything here. Even though the viewer knows it’s coming, they don't know when. Yet, even then, as the creature finally jerks into life, reaching for his eyes before inserting them into the palms of his hands, they still won’t be prepared for the nerve-shredding chase through the corridors that follows.

Del Toro refuses, once again, to go overboard with CGI, and the horror is more terrifying for it. Dark, delightful, bleak and beautiful, all at the same time, Pan’s Labyrinth manages to merge the horrors of real life into the fantastical world of imagination, leaving Ofelia, and the viewer, with no preferable place to hide.

Crafting some of horror’s most imaginative and terrifying works, Guillermo Del Toro manages to combine fantasy and supernatural dread with political commentary in a way nobody else can, showcased in this fantastic collection – one that truly delivers the goods.

MUSIC: ESSENTIAL PURCHASE - JIMMY EAT WORLD 'INVENTED'