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Monday, 31 May 2010
READ THIS: TO THE END OF THE EARTH - TOM AVERY ****
Facing some of the most extreme terrain on the planet, how did Arctic pioneer Robert Peary supposedly become the first man to reach the North Pole in 1909 in just 37 days with only dogs and wooden sleds as his transportation? A century later, British explorer Tom Avery and his team pitched themselves against the unforgiving elements to recreate Peary's journey, risking their lives in their attempt to break his record and rewrite history.
FILM REVIEW: TRICKS (DVD) **
Title: Tricks
Release date: 9 September 2009 (UK)
Certificate: 12
Running time: 95 mins
Director: Andrzej Jakimowski
Starring: Damian Ul, Ewelina Walendziak, Tomasz Sapryk, Rafal Guzniczak
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Studio:
Format: DVD
Country: Poland
Long days and early nights – summer can be boring, boring, boring if you’re a ten-year-old child. Growing up in a sleepy Polish town doesn’t help either. Sure, you have trains, pigeons and toy soldiers to play with, but who hasn’t? For Stefek, it’s a welcome relief when he spots the father that abandoned his family when he was born boarding a train. For his sister Elka, it’s a chance to teach her brother how to bribe fate; proving human hearts are harder to deploy than a load of squabs.
You see, Stefek is a bright and observant, intelligent child with oodles of imagination - which is a good thing. He also has no friends. This is a bad thing. It means his summers are spent engrossed in trains, eating watermelons, monitoring pigeons and distracting his sister’s potential boyfriend by persuading Jerzy to spend more time with him rather than with Elka.
When he isn’t doing all of the above, Stefek is attempting to bribe fate; manipulating it in order to make things happen the way he wants. Elka, being the master, insists that all you have to do is declare your purpose, sit back, and wait for life to catch up. Stefek, being the apprentice, has other, more impatient ideas. He believes you have to force it to happen, hurrying it along with military precision in order to reap its rewards.
Convinced that a stranger he spots on a train platform is his estranged father, Stefek decides this is the test that will ultimately prove his theory correct; his sister’s stubborn refusal to accept his claim only adds fuel to the fire. Elka, however, has other things on her mind than a destructive parent. She has an upcoming interview for a job that could change her life for the better – only her mother’s dependency on her to look after Stefek is hampering her progress.
Whereas she juggles babysitting her brother and boyfriend whilst washing-up at a local restaurant and trying to learn Italian to help land her that dream job, Stefan marshals toy soldiers and pigeons whilst urinating on her future employers car, trying to bribe fate with savings and sluts to bring his father back home. It’s no surprise when Elka misses the interview (twice); settling on God’s will to truly decide whether or not her family will be reunited once and for all.
It’s very hard to praise something in which not much happens. Tricks (or Sztuczki, its Polish title) does, after all, have a Sunday-afternoon-with-a-hangover feel to it – as in nothing is going on but you’re happy to go along with it. Rooted in tedious realism, how it sustains any level of interest for ninety minutes is at times baffling. It does have charm though. The two lead characters, Stefek and Elka, played by Damian Ul and Ewelina Walendziak respectively, cover up the cracks in the erratic plot with fine performances; their onscreen relationship believable and at times bewitching.
However, the story is too straightforward, lacking any kind of conflict whatsoever, even when Stefek manages to ruin his sister’s chances of landing her dream job by urinating on the business man’s car. The reason for their father’s estrangement is also glossed over as Elka tells Stefek that he was “trapped by a lady”. And that’s it. With no friends his own age (in fact he appears to be the only ten-year-old child residing in this post-communist town) Stefek relies on the most ordinary of objects to take on some kind of spellbinding significance. The trouble is he relies on them time and time again. Director Andrzej Jakimowski may as well just copy and paste the scenes involving pigeons, toy soldiers and throwing coins onto the railway track because they’re identical, adding nothing new each and every time.
Elka’s relationship with Jerzy, the man in her life, is confusing, as is his relationship with Stefek; seemingly preferring the company of the boy to hers. Other characters have no real significance to the wafer-thin plot at all – the sluttish neighbour and the used-car man shift the focus away from the story but add little, not even characterization. The film is only interesting when Ul and Walendziak are buzzing around the screen – Stefek competing against his sister as they attempt to bribe fate offering scenes of interest. In fact, the opening one involving a burger, a hungry dog and a homeless man is as good as it gets. The photography and observational direction manages to make this dreary town almost dream-like at times, but it can’t mask the humdrum premise that fails to captivate.
A subtle look into the world of a ten-year-old boy, Tricks offers little in the way of plot and often struggles to hold interest thanks to nonsensical characters and repetitive scenes. The two lead performances are commendable but Director Jakimowski’s train-wreck of a movie is more likely to carry you into a coma rather than its intended destination.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
SONGS YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO...
Every Avenue - For Always, Forever - Their new album Picture Perfect is out now through Fearless.
Against Me - Stop!
A Day To Remember - I'm Made Of Wax Larry What Are You Made OF?
The Gaslight Anthem - Boxer
Against Me - Stop!
A Day To Remember - I'm Made Of Wax Larry What Are You Made OF?
The Gaslight Anthem - Boxer
Friday, 28 May 2010
Thursday, 27 May 2010
ONE TO ARGUE ABOUT: TRICKS DVD - OUT NOW!
Long days and early nights – summer can be boring, boring, boring if you’re a ten-year-old child. Growing up in a sleepy Polish town doesn’t help either. Sure, you have trains, pigeons and toy soldiers to play with but who hasn’t? For Stefek, it’s a welcome relief when he spots the father that abandoned his family when he was born. For his sister Elka, it’s a chance to teach her brother how to bribe fate; proving human hearts are harder to deploy than a load of squabs.
Monday, 24 May 2010
OWN THIS: SONS OF ANARCHY SEASON ONE DVD
From the executive producer of The Shield comes a gripping drama that takes you into the ruthless underworld of outlaw bikers. Starring Ron Perlman, Katey Sagal and Charlie Hunnam. Season two is already showing on Bravo. Watch it. Now!
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Friday, 21 May 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
TAMAMI REVIEW **
Title: Tamami – The Baby’s Curse
Release date: 2 August 2008 (Japan)
Certificate: 15
Running time: 104 mins
Director: Yudai Yamaguchi
Starring: Nako Mizusawa, Goro Noguchi, Takumi Saicho, Atsuko Asano
Genre: Horror
Studio: King Record Co
Format: DVD
Country: Japan
How do you kill something that can’t be killed? Horror movies have struggled over the years to answer this question, whilst some Studios have made a fortune by refusing to answer it. Refreshing then, that Director Yudai Yamaguchi has gone that extra mile, researched his subject matter thoroughly and found the possible solution. You get it to apologise. If you thought Chucky was the most dishonourable ankle-biter to grace our screens then allow me to introduce you to Tamami, another toddler with an axe or two to grind.
The story begins with Yoko, a fifteen-year-old girl who is about to be reunited with the parents she thought she never had. Residing in a storm-lashed mansion reminiscent of a good majority of creepy houses from countless horror movies, it’s no surprise that Yoko is a little bit apprehensive. That’s before she meets the haggard housekeeper with seemingly no knowledge of their arrival. Insisting they leave immediately, the man from the orphanage persuades her to allow Yoko to stay, despite no sign of the parents eagerness to meet her after all these years (father is at work in the research tower and nobody bothers him when he’s at work!).
Her first night away from the orphanage is an arduous one; the harsh sounds of a baby screaming encourage her to explore the abode, leading her to a room she soon wants to vacate, quickly. In her rush to escape she is attacked by an unseen terror, hardly the welcoming she had envisaged. It’s a lot worse for the man from the orphanage though, his apparent departure a hair-raising experience if ever there was one.
With the ordeal brushed off as a dream, Yoko finally meets her parents; her mother is a complete loon, cradling a toy bear in her arms whilst her father defends his wife by revealing how an incendiary bomb separated the family all those years ago, causing her obvious derangement. Yoko finally begins to settle but with an insane mother, sinister housekeeper and oblivious father it’s not long before people start dying, a mysterious stranger comes-a-calling and Yoko’s confronted by a fifteen-year-old mutant baby that, “just doesn’t know when to stop.”
It’s cat and mouse from here on in; Yoko’s desire to finally be part of a family forcing her to confront the monstrous whippersnapper Tamami time and time again, despite the family having long since been dismantled. Is it the love from a family she most craves, or just the love? More importantly, after 104 minutes does anybody really care?
Passing itself off as a fairytale Yamaguchi is almost forgiven for using every cliché in the book; a stormy night, a hauntingly beautiful mansion, the howls of wild dogs – and that’s before they reach the front door, creaking open when nobody comes to answer. It continues for a good twenty minutes; open windows, trees scraping against the glass, fluttering curtains, all forcing Yoko into a room filled with, yes, scary dolls and an empty cot. Even the housekeeper has been dragged out of Hell House – she may as well have ‘can’t be trusted’ carved into her forehead.
Interest is kept because its atmospheric visuals are so gorgeous to feast on, pulling the viewer into this small but perfectly formed world immediately. It’s a shame more attention wasn’t paid elsewhere because a problem pretty visuals can’t disguise is the dialogue. It should always have purpose, but the whole point is we watch a movie. We want to see, not hear. So short, simply constructed sentences should not reveal the entire backstory in order to move the story along as quickly as possible. Image instead of dialogue would add more mystery to proceedings; instead by the halfway mark there are no surprises and no mystery left to interest us.
To add insult to injury, as the film progresses, pointless flashbacks begin to grate more than the repetitive giggling of Tamami. It’s not just her laughter that annoys. For forty minutes there is playful teasing, the evil left to lurk around in the shadows; imaginations are often far worse than the real thing, after all. They certainly are here. By finally showing us Tamami in all her glory Yamaguchi has two options; continue to play it straight or take us on a joyous romp injected with humour and farce only a fifteen-year-old baby playing the monstrous villain truly merits. It worked for Child’s Play. Sadly, unlike Tom Holland and his eighties masterpiece, Yamaguchi plays it straight.
This wouldn’t be too bad if there was a bit of tension and suspense. Chucky had some fantastic set-pieces but here, nearly every scare has no build up; here one second, gone the next. Only in the final act do we actually see some cat and mouse action, but a giant mutated baby leaping manically about the screen is hardly edge of the seat stuff. The seat was vacated a long time ago.
A noble effort, but Yamaguchi struggles to maintain a sense of unease and wonder as the plot disappears and the absurdities pile up. Clichéd and lacking any kind of tension, this whole adventure ultimately feels rather pointless, questioning why it’s Tamami, not the director, who is so desperate to apologise.
DEAD SNOW REVIEW ***
Title: Dead Snow
Certificate: 18
Running time: 88 mins
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: Vegar Hoel, Stig Frode Henriksen, Charlotte Frogner, Lasse Valdal and Evy Kasseth Roste
Genre: Horror
Studio: Euforia Film
Format: DVD
Country: Norway
So, then – eight medical students head out on their Easter vacation with a car packed full of ski equipment and enough beer to fuel their escape from everyday life. Isolated in the snowy hills the group begin to realise they came to the wrong resort, as deep in the hills lies an unthinkable evil. As far as premises go, Tommy Wirkola’s Dead Snow isn’t very original, is it?
But, wait – the group consists of four crazy Norwegian guys and four kooky Norwegian girls, each inheriting quirky character traits we’ve seen a million times before. On top of that, one of the girls has decided to meet the rest of the gang at their cabin deep in the woods a day later; her adventurous nature encouraging her to travel alone without the aid of a vehicle. I hope she makes it because that creepy old bloke who suddenly shows up at their cabin asking for coffee is seriously starting to bug me…
One scary story later about the second world war, trade convoys and a bunch of evil gold-hungry German soldiers and he’s gone, disappearing into the dead of night, praying the seven students heed his browbeating advice. They don’t. They play Twister instead. Until the discovery of an ancient box of treasures hidden away for decades amongst a couple of cans of beer gives rise to, quite literally, Nazi zombies out for revenge.
The group separates to try and escape the sinister infantry, but as they get picked off one by one, a grim discovery summons enough courage and hatred to retaliate – culminating in forty minutes of blood and carnage. Pushed to the limits, the few medical students that survive the initial gory onslaught decide enough is enough. Armed with chain-saws, pickaxes and a snowmobile they wreak revenge on the Nazi bastards with blustering precision until somebody realises that maybe it’s not just revenge the evil dead are after.
Opening with an uninspiring and needless chase across the Alps (a girl we have yet to find empathy for dispatched by someone, or something) Wirkola’s Norwegian gore-fest doesn’t start well; all rather pointless and far too predictable. This monotony continues for a good twenty minutes as we are introduced to the eight protagonists, a bunch of stereotypes (film geek, bimbo, jock, medical student scared at the sight of blood??), a creepy old dude warning them away and convenient, clunky plot devices – a lesson in what to do if caught in an avalanche, the doctor’s aversion to vital fluid, the girl that suffers from claustrophobia… it’s all there, waiting for the payoffs to begin.
Luckily, when they do, and we don’t have to wait too long, this run-of-the-mill horror becomes a completely different force altogether. Wirkola wisely chooses his victims, leaving us rooting for fodder worth caring about. Maybe he’s done his homework after all. Gone is the unconvincing chemistry between film geek and bimbo; their moment of passion scarcely credible and just very wrong. Her demise foreshadows some cracking invention, whilst film geek’s departure just brings welcome relief. His backstory would surely see him on a student exchange trip to Woodsboro, shacking up with Randy, the older brother he always wished he had. I’ve rarely hated a character more.
Now it gets good. The film swiftly moves away from saluting the Director’s film collection to deliver completely insane and wonderfully original set-pieces. Wirkola is having fun and we’re finally being taken along for the ride. Visually, you can’t get much better than blood being shed on snow, and here we have gallons of the stuff, pouring from every orifice. Better still, the kills, from which ever side you root for, are unorthodox and inspired – each one better than the last and absurdly entertaining for it.
Notable scenes during the pulsating second act include a glorious eaten alive moment from the victim’s perspective, a lesson in first aid with gaffer tape and a real cliffhanger. The best though is saved for the final half-hour; the standout moment involving an amputation or two. Wirkola does spoil it slightly by borrowing a scene from The Descent to kill one of the lesser characters, and then needlessly borrows from himself in the final third, diminishing the joy of watching someone dangling over the edge of a rock face for dear life, clutching onto the intestines of a dead foe to survive.
Yet by splitting the group up halfway through, pairing them off, he does manage to give certain characters more of an edge; Martin and Roy benefiting with great banter and the latter blessed with some excellent one-liners. It’s no surprise when the two left standing are the ones we can empathise with. It’s here you realise you’ve completely forgotten about the cliché-ridden first act; a thumping rock soundtrack complementing a final one of bloody battles until the slightly disappointing but not unsurprising, bearing in mind the first twenty minutes, resolution.
In all, more fun than Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell, Dead Snow is a Norwegian-Nazi-blood-splattered-zombie-fest of a movie injected with humour, gore and brilliant set-pieces, but you’ll only be rewarded if you survive the banality of the opening twenty minutes. Altogether now... “Ein! Zwei! Die!”
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